The silence from this corner is not because I’m bored, or depressed, or too busy. Things tumble about in my head, but they don’t need to see daylight yet.
This is a period where
It feels like
everything I
say
or write
must not end
with a
.
but with a
,
or
?
The words I have declared now feel
less sure.
The sacred and beautiful things
are still all of that,
but I feel I can say nothing,
write nothing,
except to end it with a
question or disclaimer or comma.
A few things I know.
They are great, glad statements that arch over the questions. These things I know and they have no question marks.
I think everything else is sand.
Shifting.
Ending in a comma because each new thing adds to the
sequence.
Each orbit of the sun reveals a new
aspect to acknowledge.
Each bit of truth adds
understanding
so that I can
never
be wholly sure of what I’ve seen.
I can’t see myself completely ,
never mind someone else
or my surroundings.
It means living with an open hand,
not clenching anything in my fist,
not refusing new things.
Being sure only of my God
in whose hand I am,
and only His words are
final.
Tis a Gift to Receive 
Beautiful. May God bless you for putting into words what so many of us feel and cast around to find ways to express. Time to share…….
Good to hear from you, Barbara! Thanks for your affirmation. And I still love remembering how you hosted me in Brussels and fed me lemon sorbet in your lovely old kitchen. I bet you forgot that, eh?
so you share the trials of a grad student? the further you get into any subject, the more you know you don’t know. one of my classmates, a masters student exclaimed: “I hate always feeling like a failure”. another student, someone in a phD program warned her: “It only gets worse.”
Nice to know. 😉
You know what? I understand completely. You have said it better than I could…
This is profound. I think this must be one of the most important realizations we’ll ever grasp in this life.
I love the last four sentences… sums it up beautifully!
Creative post, brilliantly written, painfully birthed in real life.
Yes. I think, how could I be so sure, so positive of things at 20? And now a few things are surer, deeper, but so many many things are all, as you say, commas and sand and questions and disclaimers.
On a fluffier note: I tagged you in a meme on my blog. Participation optional, of course.