All the thunder clouds of the world seemed to break over my head this week. Bad news came from all sides and there was no umbrella, no pavilion to deflect it.
One friend is having a difficult recovery from a traumatic miscarriage.
A student’s 14 yr old daughter won’t eat.
Another student’s elderly mother is hospitalized. “Can I be honest with you? I never felt love from her and I wish she would die because being in bed is not a life.”
A friend’s heart is broken because the man she has prayed for years for, has chosen another lady to love.
A close family member is still choosing to be estranged from his family.
Next week a friend is going to the doctor because she found a lump on her breast.
A friend gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, but his heart had stopped. A few days later they buried him. They’ve been married about 20 years, and this was their first full-term baby.
I weep and groan and shake my head. There are no words, no quick fix, no simple steps to follow to make it all better again.
This I know:
–the sun always comes again.
–the present moment is not all there is.
–hope borrows joy from future reality.
–negativity and complaining are toxic.
–God never scolds honesty. He can take my beating fists on His chest. He absorbs the heart-broken questions. He is deeply, everlastingly acquainted with sorrow. What He cannot accept is when I worship mini-gods, when I demand of another person or thing what only He can give.
Yesterday I listened to a short talk by the wife of Saeed Abedini, the American-Iranian pastor who is in prison for his faith. (Find it here.) I’m not looking for platitudes or simplistic answers to the grief that swirls around me, but what she said, quoting her husband, answers my grief-soaked questions, the broken-hearted tears, and it is enough for me: The answer to why is who.
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Tis a Gift to Receive 
Thanks, Anita, I needed to hear these ponderings. I especially love the line- “the present moment is not all there is.” It is a reminder to me that life is not about us, but about first seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Looking unto Jesus… the author and finisher of our faith.
Nice to hear from you, Sharon! Bless you today!
Anita, so sorry for such a difficult week. God is still in control! (like my fridge magnet reminds me) A week like that makes us long for heaven! But oh, the interceding, listening, submitting etc. that must be done now is not easy.
You know what you’re talking about, Twila. Bless you!
I was going to say what Sharon said: I needed to read this. Thank you.
Courage, dear heart!
Oh, I followed the link . . . what a beautiful, powerful letter!!! Life certainly does not always make sense, but to always remember that the answer to “Why?” is “Who” . . . oh, if only I could! Thank you so much for pointing out the way.
And the Who is always enough–more than enough. Glad the message spoke to you too!
Hugs. I wish I could fix it. I ask God to fill your heart with hope, and to bring healing to the ones you love.
Thanks, Linda, for asking for hope!