One of Don Miller’s recent blog posts asked what our deepest fears and dreams are, because they have to be addressed in order to live a good story.
I’m all about good stories, but I wonder sometimes what my story is. There doesn’t seem to be a definite pattern in it, which makes it both mysterious and puzzling. It definitely has something to do with people and words, and an amazing Shepherd-King. It also involves following pursuits that are counter-inutive and counter-cultural: thankfulness vs. complaints, creativity vs. banality, modesty vs. flagrance, worship vs. selfishness.
It takes big amounts of courage for me to look squarely at both fears and dreams.
We don’t normally face our fears willingly. Usually, God has to woo us into the desert. We are either chasing love or some other desire, and we find ourselves in the midst of a situation in which we have very little control. And when we lose control, we go into a mild form of trauma. But the good news is the greatest stories are lived in the desert. The great lives are lived in the places we most fear.
I don’t know how my fears and hopes fit into the story I’m living. I don’t know the pattern or the plot of my story because being in the middle of it, I have no accurate perspective. I don’t want to live a fear-based life nor do I know what I can DO to make my impossible dreams come true. So I don’t know anything. Only that I am my Lord’s, and I know His heart, and His heart is…well, neither boring nor predictable.
So it’s going to be a good story.