Usually when I’m angry, I try to keep it to myself but I snap at people and am biting and try not to say much so as not to cause too much damage. But right now I’m angry, and I don’t mind if the world knows it.
I’m angry because a dad, after his daughter was dating for the better part of a year, told the young man he can’t see the girl again. The dad, an American, said he couldn’t see his daughter marry an Eastern European.
The young man has a stellar character. He would treat any girl like a queen. I understand the challenges of a cross-cultural marriage, but I think it’s unfair and wrong to break a man’s heart like that, on the basis of his ethnic background.
I hurt for the couple. I ache for the injustice of it. I hurt for the young man, because I know him and his gifts and his character. I know he has support around him, lots of people love him, this can be redeemed sometime, somehow.
But right now, I’m angry.
Tis a Gift to Receive 
That’s tough… indescribably tough.
And… it has taken him this long to come to this conclusion? …
There’s human hearts involved here.
*shakes head, speechless*
Oh, I could rant, too. I’ve started, then deleted, several comments already.
I wonder sometimes when people will start seeing beyond cultures. But most of all I weep for the ones who are missing out on something very precious. Challenges? Yes. But do we really WANT life to be without challenges? I don’t. And you may remind me of that sometime down the road when it sounds like I just want the easy life.
I’m so thankful for my siblings-in-law. Every one of them is from a different culture than the one I grew up in, three of them from different countries. But they have added so much to my family, and I’m not just talking about the cute nieces and nephews! They’ve broadened our horizons, and have made me so much more aware of my own blindspots in this area. It’s been humbling. And exciting to see the way God can work.
My prayer is that we could see beyond the culture barriers we’ve created, and see each other as God sees us. Only as God works in us, will there be change in those around us.
Does this all sound too much like a sermon? Sorry…
Your title almost scared me, but after I read the post I understood you quite well. We seldom know why people respond the way they do. I suppose he was responding to something in his life, although it is definitely sad that he didn’t say ‘no’ in the beginning if he had to say it.
We need to keep looking to the Savior for our own blindspots. I keep being reminded that He is the only remedy and He WANTS us to bring our burdens and griefs to Him. After all, He already bore them on the cross. I think He wants us to take this truth much deeper than we often do.
I weep with you, Anita, and pray that you will find the grace of God sufficient for every day, also in all the changes the mission there is dealing with right now.
I have had to work on adjusting to American/Mennonite culture; I haven’t always tried to understand why they think the way they/we do. I hope you get my slant. It’s not a negative. I’ve just realized I think totally differently myself–maybe it’s because so many of my reference points are so different. Enough blabbing. Have a blessed weekend.
I believe we should be angered by what angers God.
Although I suspected it, I hadn’t actually heard his reason until you verbalized it. I can barely imagine saying that! With how much lesser men would he be pleased, simply beause they were from a similar culture? Somehow, I don’t see the resemblence of God’s heart in that. With an atitude like that I wonder why he ever moved his family to eastern Europe for several years?! My heart bleeds for both of the young people, and I pray that God will direct their futures.
My youngest grand-niece was born yesterday in Korea (today’s date, local). And yes, the fact that she is absolutely adorable is not deminished in the least by the obvious fact that she is half Korean!
May your anger subside as you continue to pray for the three most damaged in this situation.
Thanks for your last comment, Omar. That is a reminder we all need continually. If I focus on my feelings in these situations, more hurt happens than is really necessary. This is a good reminder to be redemptive, even in the midst of unredemptive situations. Blessings.
Exactly. Thanks to all for their gracious, wise responses that helped me regain better perspective.
You have a right to be angry. An injustice occurred and that is a natural God-given reaction. I hope and pray that you and the people involved will find healing. May God take the pain and use it for beauty in His Kingdom.
I am sad, very sad…
I can’t help but think that even though the cost has been so high for this dear couple, the greatest loss, by far, is the father’s.
the man should repent.