Life is for Living, Regardless

Recently, my friend Abby told me that she read my book when she was 10 or 11 and I laughed and laughed. She was definitely not the demographic I had in mind for an audience when I started writing it back in 2004.

Still, she said the book started her thinking about living fully and she decided then not to be shriveled and shrunken. The way she lives now, more than ten years later, demonstrates how well she internalized the book’s message. A big chunk of her heart is still in Greece with refugees after she worked there for five months. Now she invests her time in helping in special needs classrooms in public schools.  She’s dating a wonderful young man, and I cheer for their vision for life, and I know that they will become even more attractive, effective, vibrant people as they live well and don’t wait around.

When I wrote the book, I heard that the average marketable life of a book is 1-3 years. However, I expected it to stay in print for a long time because I thought that every year, another group of young women will discover they’re single and want guidance in it because there’s not a lot of great help out there, at least not in the pro-family conservative Anabaptist culture.

It seems that young women discover themselves to be single at different ages, depending on their context and the expectations of people around them. I was pushing 30 when I looked around me and realized that most of my friends were married and I wasn’t. I hear from girls who feel very single at 18 and I want to say, “Honey child, you’re not single, you’re just growing up yet!” But in their context, grown ups marry at 19, so of course they feel left behind, forgotten, not-belonging.

It’s almost 12 years since the book came out, and what has surprised me most is how many moms and preacher’s wives tell me that it connects with them.  The book isn’t a how-to book for singles, but an exploration of what it looks like to pursue living well in the middle of Plan B.

Turns out everyone is living in a story they didn’t plan, and we all need to know that there are ways to do well with adjusting expectations and learning how to flourish.

book cover

You can order the book at Christian Learning Resource. Order from the website (it’s not out of stock even if it says so) call (814) 789- 4769, or email

Alternatively, it’s an ebook, available here, for only $4. If you or a friend speaks Spanish, you can download it for free here!

I don’t know how long I’ll keep the book in print. For now, it’s puttering along, leading a life of its own, and now and then a nice story comes tripping back to tell me what it did. It’s a very happy stage to be in, because I care about God’s people living good stories, and if my book can help with that, I’m delighted.


10 thoughts on “Life is for Living, Regardless

  1. I recently re-read your book. God bless you for writing in an easy-to-read and helpful way for all of us, single and married, to embrace our calling and find our highest delight in our Lord. LRM

  2. That book envelopes the life I try to lead as a single. Thanks for the encouragement! But I find as I get older, its more of a challenge to not become cynical. Maybe because being single and older seems more difficult, and not as much as something to shrug off. (It looks like I’m it it for the long haul) Thanks for the reminder to keep being the best of whatever I am!
    Recently I listened to an audio book called Option B by Sheryl Sandberg. Her husband, Dave Goldberg, died suddenly at the age of forty-eight, hile she was employed with Facebook. While I can relate to the loss in her life, having lost my Father and Brother in less then 4 yrs, what I really liked about the book is her encouragement to use the difficult things in life to build resilience and to come out as better people. She also has some great tips to relate to struggling people, esp those in their grief walk. One take away from the book was taking inventory at the end of the day, “what 3 good things happened today”? Its a great way to see the good in my present life. You might enjoy reading it as well 🙂
    Blessings to you!

    • Thanks for the book recommendation! Sounds like one I’d like. For about 15 years, I kept a Thanks Journal. It was an exercise in being decisive and intentional about finding good things to focus on, and many times helped keep me from spiraling downward.

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