The wall in front of me is plastered with photos of lots of people I love. They help me from feeling too alone in my study. Among the photos and roster and calander of events is a post-it note with this verse by Ugo Bossi. It is my current inspiration:

Measure thy life by loss and not by gain,

Not by the wine drunk but by the wine poured forth,

For love’s strength standeth in love’s sacrifice,

And he who suffereth most has most to give.

I had no idea that teaching would be so much work and be so fun. The hardest thing is coming up with enough material to fill 70 min. and still figure in an unpredictable amount of discussion time. Even harder than that is knowing all the resources I have at home on my bookshelves, several thousand miles away. That’s not all bad; it’s making me more desperate for the Source of all wisdom.

I’m helping with writing class, which is fun and jolly. I get to tell them all my pet hates in writing, and read my favorite pieces to them for inspiration. It’s a record-size class, and good potential for excellent talent to be developed. Exciting! Today I will give them a list of over-used religious words to avoid, such as: moving swiftly on, lead guide and direct, at the foot of the cross, in closing…all those things we hear a million times and tune out, so why say/write them?

The 18 young women in the Christian Womanhood class work hard and think hard and dream big, and I’m so proud of them. They’re made of good stuff, and they will make their worlds better. Today’s class will be on Jezebel and her controlling, manipulative ways. ouch. Very convicting.  And the lesson plan isn’t finished yet, so I am swiftly moving on…

Today I am sad. There’s much to be glad about but I’m still sad. In these 5 wks at FB, I’ve met God in real, life-changing ways. That’s something to be glad, very glad about, and I am. But the sadness persists–sadness at the loss of immediacy to the people and places that impacted me deeply. Sadness at the second hand that races around the clock.  Heaviness at the weight of my next life assignment.  But over-arching that is deep gladness for everything I’ve been given, and the hope of more. 

It is the most wonderful thing to cry and hold hope at the same time.

God can’t do WHAT?!

This week’s schedule has been: paint and trim in my flat until lunch, and rest/study/sort stuff/pack stuff in boxes in the afternoon. Not being a full time store keeper feels like being on holiday, and I feel responsible to make every minute count. Did I mention that I feel like a new person, not being a full-time shop keeper?

Next week this time I plan to be in northern IN, with relations I haven’t seen for far too long. And then be with them for Christmas. It feels utterly luxurious but when I remember that I’ve celebrated 12 Christmases on this side of the Atlantic, I think it’s ok, and justifiable to be with them this time.

Then us 4 sisters will convene in CA, no less, to be sisters and tourists for 10 days.  O joy! Then I will tag along with one sister to Faith Builders, where I will be ensconced in a student’s world for 5 wks, for which I can scarcely wait. And always having been the oldest sister and leading in everything, it is great fun to be the follower this time.

And then somehow I will find my way to Calvary Bible school in Arkansas to teach a class for young women. This is completely new territory for me, this business of being a teacher. HOW does one go about it? I already understand the grim, determined look I often saw on teacher’s faces as they headed to their places of study.  But right now the grimmness has left my face, and I am full of questions, but excited and in awe of the privilege before me.  By the Lion’s mane, I will do the best I can.

Since I’m n ot a full-time shop keeper anymore, I’m not missing the endless conversations about the weather.  And I’m not missing the newspapers, headlines, and dreary news. Maybe I’m the proverbial ostrich with the head in the sand, but I don’t like bad news. It is always my gripe that news is so subjective, and the media releases only what sells. I do like to know some of what’s going on but I still have the childish fantasy of producing a paper that has only good news in it.

However, I do miss the Saturday ritual of reading the Irish Times weekend magazine. Roisin Ingle is back, with her fresh, spunky, honest words. She has been a journalist for years, left the paper, and recently came back to her weekly spot in the magazine.  She’s my age, has published one book, angsts openly about whatever she thinks will catch people’s attention. Some of her pieces are disgusting, but I still like her for several reasons. For one, she is human, honestly so. For another, I feel she is a good commentary on what life is like for the thirty-somethings in Ireland. It’s not all bad news. But a lot of it is, which is sad, because they believed in the Celtic Tiger which has expired now.

Her last article really got my attention. It made me sad and burdened, but for different reasons than the person to whom she was writing. I’m still drafting an answer to her in my head, though I may prob. never send it to her.

The Irish Times is a Protestant-owned paper, which provides an interesting dynamic in a Catholic country. I like the arts and human interest pieces. And our Very Favourite part of the paper: the crossword. I’ve done crosswords in other magazines and books, but the Times’ is the best. My mom and sister do the puzzle every day, being more brainy than I–but even they don’t do the cryptic option.

I like that the Times is on-line now. That means I can access it anywhere I go. Several weeks ago I was talking with my sister who lives in the US. It was a Saturday, and suddenly in the conversation, she said “Hey, did you read Roisin Ingle’s piece this morning–isn’t it funny?!” I’m not a news junky, and quite like being free from computers for awhile. But I do like that kind of connection with my sister across the globe–we can still read the same things.

Reading II Tim. 2 lately, it struck me that ‘teach’ is mentioned twice in the chapter. There is something about teaching, passing on instruction, that Paul valued and urged Timothy to engage in it. Then elsewhere there is specific instruction that older women should teach the younger. Because teaching is mentioned more than once, it deserves attention.

This is an issue to me for several reasons. My Amish/Mennonite background is very practical, very hands-on, very useful. This is wonderful for many reasons. But I think we are not doing so well at teaching life concepts and spiritual truths so that we can effectively keep on doing and working and being practical in fleshing out our deeper spiritual beliefs.

There is a reason that the Mormon young people meet at 5 every morning to study and be instructed. There is a reason that the Puritans (and others) learned the catechism. There is a reason we prioritize Christian education for children. There is more power in teaching/learning/studying than some of want to think, or than we have been accustomed to thinking.

What to do with that? I don’t know. I’m only a budding TEFL teacher. And a writer of one book. And preparing to teach a young women’s class at Calvary Bible School for 6 wks, starting in Feb.

But I think there is something powerful behind the instruction to teach others about the faith that is precious to us. I prob. tend to swing to the extreme of thinking that more knowledge is more power, that more information is better than less information, that studying and reading is better than playing or putting in time. I know that education is not the answer to the world’s ills. But I think a better-informed heart can make wiser life decisions. This is what I want for myself, and for those I love, and for those coming after me. I don’t know where it will take me, but I care very much about God’s people becoming better trained, better equipped to do His business.