Celebrating True Love

This morning I saw a photo of my cousin posing with his bride. He was radiant, and she was laughing, and seeing them gave me a burst of joy and delight. They are gifted, wise people. I know they will serve each other and their world like Jesus would, and it’s so wonderful and beautiful to see that it makes me cheer.

The mysteries of love are a mystery to me (to everyone else too, I guess) but when a man and woman find each other and settle deeply on far more than fluff and feelings, and commit to loving and serving in the nitty-gritty for the rest of their lives, it has to be one of the most beautiful things in the world.

Which means that divorce is probably the worst thing in the world. Maybe because it desecrates the symbol of God’s choosing us and faithful betrothal to us.

I bumped against the divorce word so often this week, maybe it’s why I was particularly sensitive to the happy wedding picture.  I heard mothers talking with each other: “You don’t have a husband either? Me too, I’m happier this way, being lonely, than being with my husband.” I read a woman’s words about how everyone else liked her husband but she couldn’t live with him so she left him. It all made me want to weep.

My friends tell me that marriage is hard work and demanding in surprising ways. (I say that singleness is too but in different aspects.) When I see couples promise their lives to each other, and each is whole and and focused on and sacrificial for Kingdom priorities, it gives me hope that some things in this ravaged world are as they should be.

It isn’t always like that. There are moments when I watch girls give their hearts to unworthy men who are happy to take them, and I want to shout “Oh,no,no,no,no,no, please no.” Not that I’m an expert match-maker, but I think that at this stage I have a pretty good idea of what a girl’s heart is worth.

So, to Caleb and Sandra out there ready to do life together for always, here’s one voice who’s cheering for you, proud of you, and wishing you everything beautiful!

Article Recommendation: What’s a Man to Do?

This week my wise, gentle friend Elisabeth whom I’m never met but correspond with regularly, wrote a brave article here on Boundless. I say it’s brave, because it takes a lot of courage for a single woman with a quiet spirit to write about the unspoken dynamics between single men and women.

Chatting with Elisabeth this morning, she told me she’s gotten good feedback on the article, mostly from girls, which means it’s more than just me who says it’s accurate and well-done.

In her blog, Elisabeth writes an introduction for the article and says it took her way out of her comfort zone and that a lot of the points can apply to both men and women.

It’s a delicate balance, I know. Over-kindness and over-coldness are equally off track. Selfish rashness and selfish caution: both are outside the kingdom realm.

Believers in Jesus, whether we marry each other or not, are on parallel tracks toward a common goal. This is a lifelong closeness and commitment: not to one another, but to Him.  As C. S. Lewis describes in The Four Loves, we stand — not eye to eye, like lovers — but shoulder to shoulder with eyes on the same goal. And with eyes (and heart) on that goal, we’ll be steering very well.

Sometimes we don’t realize we have the power to hurt others, but as mature men and women, we need to recognize this and plan accordingly.

And honestly? It’s not impossible to get it right.